Her: Holistic Health

A Bad Habit

In Uncategorized on November 7, 2010 at 9:35 pm

I have realized this weekend that I have a bad habit of leaping without much thought about the details of how I will get from where I am to where I want to be.

I could tell you my story of being born into a world that was all about being careful, about not taking risks, about being safe, even if safe meant not following my heart, my hopes, my intuition. I could tell you my story of how, for a long time, I thought that by living a small, controlled, predictable life, that I would find some measure of security. I could tell you but it would only be a story.

When I first read “The Artist’s Way,” more than ten years ago, I latched on to a single simple phrase that has slowly become the motto for my existence. “Leap and the net will appear.” This simple little sentence, these six little words encompassed everything that I did not know how to do at the time. It told me that I could take a chance and trust that something greater than myself would catch me.

My latest leap has been into a counseling training program and into the arms of over 30 strangers who show up in ways that I could never even have imagined. I wanted to do this program to deepen my skills and connections to my health counseling clients and to do a bit of work on myself.  Now, with two weekends under my belt, with a few experiences of sessions with other students, with being seen and accepted for just arriving in the room, I feel raw and vulnerable and exposed in ways that I did not expect. I leapt into the experience not thinking about all of the little details, like sharing what is deep and real in the moment with strangers as my introverted heart is easily overwhelmed, or what it means to make myself available to each soul that looks into my eyes searching for connection or even what it means to show up with an issue that is so deeply imbedded in the fiber of my being that I can’t even fantasize about how certain parts of my life could be different.

I don’t regret signing up for this program. It is exactly what I need at just the right time. I am just acknowledging that in this very moment, at the end of the second weekend of workshops, that I find that I have a very bad habit of leaping without anticipating the risks involved. I have a very bad habit of pushing my personal boundaries, of sometimes stretching beyond what I thought possible.

I have developed this very bad habit and in the end… it just might save me.

  1. you are a beautiful dreaming wonder my sister friend… keep remembering its all in you already…in your breath in your pause in your dreams… and let the dreams fill your heart to unlimited possibilities dear valerie… you ARE already..and it is stunning 🙂 ❤ so proud of you luv t -la

  2. Val! I loooooooooove this! and I love that we are hanging out on Sunday because I want to hear more more more!!! Oh, so much in common have we!!! this is a fabulous post.

  3. I am so proud of you valerie. so proud of you for taking the leap….and putting yourself out there. You are so strong and so brave.

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